{ Clean Jokes } 'The Old Country Preacher'

An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men his age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it. One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects...

I'll just hide behind the door,' the old preacher said to himself.

'When he comes home from school today, I'll see which object he picks up.

1. A Bible.....?

2. A silver dollar.....?

3. A bottle of whisky......?

4. And a Playboy magazine.....?

If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me,

and what a blessing that would be!

If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a business man, and that would be okay, too.

But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunken bum, and Lord,

what a shame that would be.

And worst of all if he picks up that magazine he's going to be a

skirt-chasing womanizer.'

The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's foot-steps

as he entered the house whistling and headed for his room.

The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room

he spotted the objects on the table..

With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them. Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink, while he admired this month's centerfold.

'Lord have mercy,'

the old preacher disgustedly whispered.

'He's gonna run for Congress.'

{ Clean Jokes } Not the flight instructor?

A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to take pictures of a great forest fire. He was advised that

a small plane would be waiting to fly him over the fire.

The photographer arrived at the airstrip just an hour before sundown. Sure enough, a small Cessna airplane was waiting.

He jumped in with his equipment and shouted, "Let's go!" The tense man sitting in the pilot's seat swung the

plane into the wind and soon they were in the air, though flying erratically.

"Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "and make several low-level passes."

"Why?" asked the nervous pilot.

"Because I'm going to take pictures!" yelled the photographer. "I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures."

The pilot replied, "You mean you're not the flight instructor?"

{ Clean Jokes } No way, Jose!

First soldier : “Pass me the chocolate pudding, would you?”

Second soldier : “No way, Jose!”

First soldier : “Why not?”

Second soldier : “It’s against regulations to help another soldier to dessert!”

{ Clean Jokes } Banana Peel

Customer : “How much is that banana for?”

Salesperson : “$1.00″

Customer : “Can you sell it to me for 60 cents?”

Salesperson : “At that rate, you’ll only get the banana peel!”

Customer : “Okay… I’ll buy the banana for 40 cents, but you can keep the peel!”

{ Clean Jokes } Banta’s Letter To Bill Gates

Banta’s Letter To Bill Gates

Subject: Problems with my new computer

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.

1. There is a button ‘Start’ but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.

2. We find there is ‘Run’ in the menu. One of my friends clicked ‘Run’ he ran up to Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to ‘Sit’, so that we can click that by sitting.

3. One doubt is whether any ‘Re-Scooter’ is available in system? I find only ‘Recycle’, but I own a scooter at my home.

4. There is ‘Find’ button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this ‘Find’ button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.

5. My child learnt ‘Microsoft Word’ now he wants to learn ‘Microsoft Sentence’, so when you will provide that?

6. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows ‘My Computer’: when you will provide the remaining items?

7. It is surprising that windows says ‘My Pictures’ but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.

8. There is ‘Microsoft Office’ what about ‘Microsoft Home’ since I use the PC at home only.

9. You provided ‘My Recent Documents’. When you will provide ‘My Past Documents’?

10. You provide ’My Network Places‘. For God sake please do not provide ’My Secret Places‘. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.

One personal questions.. How is it that your name is Gates but u are selling WINDOWS?